Fighting Apathy

I can see the opposition in your heart

It manifests in your eyes

And you’re the worst at hiding it

You long to never feel and never hurt again

You’ve got a look that says you’re barely hanging on

Barely going to make it through the night
You’ve never worn apathy quite as well

As anger, hate, and animosity

But it’s all I’m seeing in your face

It’s all I’m hearing in your words
Just remember that none of this is ever real

And pain is just a construct of our minds

If we can conquer it, instead of fall to it

Then we will never be afraid in this life

We will never be afraid to die
I know you don’t want to feel this

To feel anything- but I know it will end

I know you don’t want to feel this

To feel for anyone- but it’s worth it

I swear

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Giants

Every day the same routine

I can’t escape this hell I’ve made

I’ve got to find another way

Just to make another day

Every day the same old me

Falling to pieces and withering

I’ve got to get out and find my way

 

I took a walk among the giants

Just to see how I compare

I have never felt so weak

Or paralyzed with fear

 

Looking in the mirror I see

My reflection changing me

Into someone I’ll never be…

 

So,

I took a walk among the giants

Just to see how I compare

I have never felt so weak

Or paralyzed with fear

I took a walk among the giants

Just to see how I would fare

But this fear is overwhelming

And it keeps me here…

The Fight

You can’t bury pain

And not expect it

To grow roots

You can’t foster hate

And not expect it

To completely consume

 

To think on this over and over again

Is to water and nurture it

And let it spread

Like a virus at your core

It slowly overtakes you

Always wanting more

 

You can’t fight it,

No, you can’t fight it alone

Trust me, I’ve been there and believe me- I know

You can’t hide it,

No, you can’t hide it for long

I’ve seen your eyes and there’s no fire that you once had before

 

You can’t bury it

You can’t force your problems below and not expect them to show

You can’t bury it

It’s going eat you alive and kill you slowly from the inside

 

You can’t fight it,

No, you can’t fight it alone

Trust me, I’ve been there and believe me- I know

You can’t hide it,

No, you can’t hide it for long

I’ve seen your eyes and there’s no fire that you once had before

 

Care

White lies for sympathetic hearts

Are never so easy

You’d like  to believe that

They’re just fine

You’re already in too deep

Half truths and misdirecting words

Will only lead you to misery

 

You think you’re only ankle deep

But take a breath and you’ll

See you’re in over your head

You’re drowning in your own greed

 

What ever happened to lending a helping hand?

What happened to basic decency?

We’re all so quick to pass on by

Those who really need us

And we’re all so quick to waste our time

As though it wasn’t finite

 

When you get to the end

What will you be able to say you did?

Doesn’t matter what you believe in

When you look back, will you see yourself with pride?

Or will you wish you could turn back time

To do something with meaning?

 

What ever happened to lending a helping hand?

What happened to basic decency?

We’re all so quick to pass on by

Those who really need us

And we’re all so quick to waste our time

As though it wasn’t finite

 

We can’t keep on going

Day to day

Expecting that everything will go our way

We can’t keep on living

Like we’re the only ones who know the way

Like we’re the only ones who mean anything

Best Shot

You assumed that

I would go in quietly without a fight

How you were wrong

Now I’m going to show

Everyone the side they’ve

Never known

 

So, take your best shot

I will show you how it feels

To lose your throne

So, take your best shot

I will leave you lying here

On the floor

 

Now that you’re here

I want to show you exactly how you’ll fall

It won’t be graceful

It won’t be quiet

You’re going to know

What it means to lose it all

 

So, take your best shot

I will show you how it feels

To lose control

So, take your best shot

I will leave you lying here

On the floor

Scared

I feel my heart stop

If only for a moment

Fear takes me by the hand

And she’s never letting go

 

She’s never letting go

 

I hear the silence break

Shattered and torn to pieces

Fight or flight?

I have to face this,

Or keep on

Running scared from you

I want to change but I know

 

You’re never letting go

Control

Take your time away

To do what you need to do

Just find a way back home

 

Get a hold of yourself

Keep this fear from taking hold

Don’t let anger take control

 

You’re miles away again

But, I feel every move you make

I lie awake- afraid we won’t see tomorrow

 

Get a hold of yourself

Keep this fear from taking hold

Don’t let anger take control

Seeing Clearly

 

We are not our sins

I’m sorry you can’t look past yours

But I won’t let mine define me

You are not a god

But you’ve tried to take the role

And I thank God

My soul is not in your hands

 

I see your lies for what they are

I see your thoughts so clearly

I see your lies for what they are

And I see your coming end

 

We are not our sins

They are not all we are

I am moving on

Not even you can

Hold me back anymore

 

I see your lies for what they are

I see your thoughts so clearly

I see your lies for what they are

And I see your coming end

 

Let go and see

What we all could be

 

 

Here’s To You

Every word you say

Is designed to cut right through me,

To tear into me and bring me to my knees

I can see you’ve done this before

 

And every word you say

Is designed to bend and to break me

You’re only looking to exacerbate things

I can see you’ve done this before

 

I see it inside you-

Your true motivations

To scar and to build hate

You feed on it- it gives you energy

 

So here’s to you getting

Everything you have coming your way

And here’s to you feeling

Everything you’ve put me through

Here’s to you

 

Every move you make

Is set in motion to bring about pain

So self-preserving

Nothing you do can ever be seen as grace

 

You say that you care

But your actions paint you so differently

Don’t try and turn things on me

Cause we both know it’s you who’s failed

 

So here’s to you getting

Everything you have coming your way

And here’s to you feeling

Everything you’ve put me through

Here’s to you

 

Pettiness defines you

You’re so scared of losing control

That you’ll act like a child

As long as it gets things going your way

Well, I’m done and I see you

For everything you really are

Sorry

I’m sorry I can’t remember

All those things you never said

Try as you might to prove you’re right

You can’t win by making it all up now

 

If only you’d said more than just a word or two…

If only you’d actually tried…

 

So I’m sorry-

Sorry that I couldn’t save

This lie

And I’m sorry-

Sorry I wasted so much time

 

I’m sorry I can’t explain

To you over and over again

What I actually mean

 

You hear what you want to hear

And no matter how hard I try

You’ll never believe my side

Never know how hard I tried

To give you everything…

 

So I’m sorry-

Sorry that I couldn’t save

This lie

And I’m sorry-

Sorry I wasted so much time

On you

 

And after all this time

I’m starting to realize

I had all these warning signs

But you were a better liar

Than I thought you’d be

This whole damn time

You were feeding off my misery

I never thought that things

Would every come to this

But you’ve been deceiving me

And now I finally see

How you’ll always be

 

So I’m sorry-

Sorry that I couldn’t save

This lie

And I’m sorry-

Sorry I wasted so much time

On you