Fear of Failure

Chemicals imbalance and steal the life from me

How much time are they actually leaving me?

Tired of never having answers and feeling like I was born to lose

Can’t help but wonder of things will ever change, or if I’ll just stay the same

Negativity is taking over like a fucking plague

Can’t escape this cycle- forever in repeat
I’m forever trying to find some relief from everything that I have done to me

All I want is to go back in time and to stop me from becoming someone that I swore I’d never be
“In time it’ll all work out, you’ll see” that’s what everyone is telling me

But I can’t see how anything is changing for the better, not for me, at least

I’m just spiraling in self-loathing and drowning my own goddamn apathy

I can’t dig myself out of this hole I’m in and part of me wants to just call it home again

I was almost out, this time a year ago, but before I could fill the hole I got shoved right back in
I’m forever trying to find some relief from everything that I have done to me

All I want is to go back in time and to stop me from becoming someone that I swore I’d never be

 

But here I am, this selfish, horrid waste of a human being who can’t even be bothered to pursue his own life long dreams
Fear of failure is forever holding onto me and I let it take free reign over my entire being

I’ve got so many things that I could be doing to make myself happy, but to try would be to set myself up to fail

So I just sit here and let everything I want constantly pass me by, and accept the fact that I have put myself here, all because of the smallest fucking lie

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